Everything I'm Not
by missmisery91
Summary: Frustrated with Tai, Matt heads out to clear his thoughts. Stopping by a local cafe, can a sliver haired waiter be his savior? Matt has a choice to make. mattXriku, rated M to be safe


DISCLAIMER: sadly, i own nothing, not digimon, not kingdom hearts, and not this song.... T^T

According to you

I'm stupid,

I'm useless,

I can't do anything right.

According to you

I'm difficult,

hard to please,

forever changing my mind.

I'm a mess in a dress,

can't show up on time,

even if it would save my life.

According to you. According to you.

But according to him

I'm beautiful,

incredible,

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him

I'm funny,

irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

Everything is opposite,

I don't feel like stopping it,

so baby tell me what I got to lose.

He's into me for everything I'm not,

according to you.

According to you

I'm boring,

I'm moody,

you can't take me any place.

According to you

I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.

I'm the girl with the worst attention span;

you're the boy who puts up with that.

According to you. According to you.

But according to him

I'm beautiful,

incredible,

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him

I'm funny,

irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

Everything is opposite,

I don't feel like stopping it,

so baby tell me what I got to lose.

He's into me for everything I'm not,

according to you.

I need to feel appreciated,

like I'm not hated. oh-- no--.

Why can't you see me through his eyes?

It's too bad you're making me decide.

According to me

you're stupid,

you're useless,

you can't do anything right.

But according to him

I'm beautiful,

incredible,

he can't get me out of his head.

According to him

I'm funny,

irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

Everything is opposite,

I don't feel like stopping it,

baby tell me what I got to lose.

He's into me for everything I'm not,

According to you.

According to you.

According to you

I'm stupid,

I'm useless,

I can't do anything right.

* * *

Rolling over in the bed, Tai's hair spiked out in every which direction, even more so than usual, groaning as the sun glisttened through the shades. He cast a gaze to the clock, 11:28. It was nearly noon and he was still feeling his hangover from the night before. Rolling onto his back he put a hand to his face, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. Suddenly he felt a jerk in his stomach as he threw the blanket off of himself and bolted to the bathroom, dropping to the floor as he got to the toilet. He had been kissing porcelin for most of the morning and a good portion of the night. He sat there a few more moments panting, groaning as he lifted his head, hand searching for the handle, finally finding it he pulled as the bowl began to flush and was replaced with clean water. The brunet took hold of the bowl once more as he used it as leverage, struggling to get to his feet. A yawn escaped him as he made his way to the mirror, nearly cringing at the image before him. Cold sweat beaded his forhead, his eyes were bloodshot, purple rings shadowing them.

"Damn..."

Sighing, he pushed off the counter and made his way back into the bedroom. There was a draft coming from the door. The smell of food filled the room causing his stomache to twist as he fought against the urge to voimt. Gathering himself once more he grabbed his robe hanging on the closet door handle. Slipping it on as he ventured his way out to the living room, attempting to tie the rope just above his boxers. The television was already running, the newest weatherman on the screen attempting to predict the next week's tempature. Tai plopped on the couch and grabbed hold of the remote as he began to flip through the channels lazily.

"Well good morning, sunshine. 'Bout time you got up..."

Tai glanced over to where the voice had come. In the kitchen doorway stood a blond man. A smirk on his face as he leaned, arms crossed, against the frame of the door.

He returned his gaze to the television, merely nodding. "Yep..."

"Someone's not happy today. Told you you shouldn't have drank so much last night.." Matt shoved off the wall as his smirk faded, turning downward into a frown. "You hungry? I made breakfast."

Tai let out a heavy sigh as he turned, looking at the blond once more. "Seriously? Have you NOT heard me blowing chunks all morning? Yeah, I'm hungry, but it's pointless if it's just gonna come right back up. You know i can't eat anything when I'm hungover."

Matt scoffed, shaking his head as he turned heading back into the kitchen. "Whatever..."

He returned moments later with some alka seltzer, he handed it to Tai.

Tai frowned at the glass.

Matt sighed as he took a seat next to the brunet, facing him, as he offered the glass again. "Just drink it, Tai, I know you don't like the taste but it'll help..."

Tai hesitated for a moment before taking the glass, making another face as he put it to his lips and began to drink.

Smiling triumphantly, Matt leaned back against the cushion turning to the television. "Anything good on?"

Tai shook his head as he set the now empty glass on the coffee table."Never is... Hey, you should rent some dvd's for me tonight when you get off work."

Matt made a note of how he said "me" and not "us." He glanced sideways at Tai for a moment. He nodded. "I guess I can do that."

"What do you mean 'I guess?' I mean it's not like you actually have anything going on. Just work then coming back here. Unless... you made other plans?" questioned, casting a gaze to the blond, a taunting smile on his face.

"No.. of course not." Matt finally answered, after a few moments, dropping his gaze. He hated the power that Tai held over him, what was worse was that Tai knew exactly how much power he had and exactly how to use it. The only time he ever got a break from it was when he went to work..., but, Matt dealt with it BECAUSE it was Tai, and he loved him for some fucked up reason. Why exactly, he still wasn;t quite sure. Back in the beggining when they were first together there wasn;t a thing about him that he disliked, Tai was perfect in everyway, just a bit goofy, but that, once again was one of the things he loved. Somewhere down the line though things got... bumpy.

Nothing Matt ever did seemed to be right. It didn;t matter what he did, Tai never seemed to be pleased. Then the cheating started and the fights got worse. Tai was extremely physical, in more ways than one.

Checking his watch, Matt stood. "I've gotta go. I'll pick the movies up after work."

"What time you think you'll be back?"

Matt thought for a moment. "Nine-ish."

Tai nodded. "Alright."

"Bye." Leanning down, Matt pressed a kiss to the others lips and stood grabbing his coat off the hook.

"Matt, wait!" Matt turned, seeing what the other wanted. Tai was on his feet and made his way over, a smile on his face. He brought his hands up, placing them on either side of Matt's face, meeting his gaze. "I love you..."

"Love you too..."

Tai took his turn and pressed his lips to others, a bit more forcefully than the other had done earlier. This took Matt by surprise, but he went along with it, closing his eyes as his lips continued moving in synch with his lover's. When he was about to pull away, Tai pulled him back, his kisses getting harder as he forced his tounge into the blond's mouth.

Matt's eyes flew open as he brought his hands up, wrapping them around Tai's wrists as he struggled to free himself. Tai pulled back, glaring at Matt irritated. "What the hell?"

"Tai knock it off! I need to get to work!"

The brunet scoffed dropping his hands and took a step back from Matt. "Whatever.. Get the hell out of here.." He spat, turning as he made his way back to the couch. "Bitch..."

Matt stared at the other in disgust as he watched him walk away, biting his tounge he turned, snatching his keys as he stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him. Tears painted his cheeks as he entered the elevator.

Reaching the lobby he got out of the eleveator as soon as the door opened, shoving past people as he fought his way out to the entrance of the complex, recieving a few vulgar comments here and there. Not anything he hadn't heard before. Ignoring the people he stepped outside. The cool air felt good. Matt took a deep breath, trying to calm himself as he slipped into his jacket and began walking to his truck. He had never been so relived to have to work, especially on a Monday.


End file.
